Being a people pleaser can be a burden. Always taking care of others causes us to forget about ourselves. And when working in a job where taking care of others is…well THE JOB, it can be easy to fall into an unhealthy balance. People pleasing can honestly feel like walking a tightrope, trying to balance your own needs while constantly trying to keep others smiling. However, it is important to remember that you are human and that taking care of yourself is the best way to take care of others.
How to spot your people-pleasing tendencies:
Overworking to Please Others
Ever catch yourself agreeing to another timely task just because your senior asked, even though you can barely keep your eyes open? Balance is key! The best way to make sure that you can give your best at work is if you take time to rest.
Not Communicating Your Needs/Thoughts to Avoid Conflict
How many times have you stayed quiet about your concerns to avoid conflict with your coresidents or attendings? Although it can be uncomfortable, it is important to share what’s on our minds. We understand that being a newbie and constantly trying to impress your coworkers is mentally exhausting. Providing the best care to yourself and your patients is worth the discomfort.
Over-Apologizing for Small Errors (Fear of Judgment and Criticism)
Do you find yourself constantly apologizing for literally the SMALLEST most HARMLESS things? Big reminder: You are human and you are allowed to make mistakes! It isn’t possible for us to be perfect 24/7. Things happen and that is completely okay. Seniors will definitely give you a hard time occasionally with their high expectations and temperaments. However, don’t let that weigh on you. Give yourself grace and know that everyone is allowed to make mistakes.
If you are noticing any of these people pleasing tasks, that’s quite okay— at least you’re more aware. Just keep in mind that when we put other people’s needs before our own, we lose in the long run. When we overcommit and don’t set boundaries we can overwork ourselves and lack in performance. No one else will know your needs more than yourself.
We’re rooting for you and here to help you navigate these hard situations with ease. Need more help? Carla specializes in providing authenticity-focused virtual therapy for medical professionals and caregivers navigating chronic stress, burnout, anxiety, and grief. She is available for new clients in New York and is In-Network with UMR, Aetna, and United. She also takes client’s Out-Of-Network as well. To learn more, click here.
Comments