Raise your hand if you're tired of awkward family dinners, dodging Uncle Joe’s political rants, or answering that dreaded question: “When are you two finally getting married?” 🙋 Notice how everyone’s hands went up? Let’s face it—during the holidays, loved ones often feel a little too entitled to cross personal boundaries.
Amid all the holiday cheer, it’s common to encounter awkward tension while trying to enjoy your meal. That’s why setting boundaries is key to avoiding these uncomfortable scenarios. While it may feel like addressing certain topics with family could stir up drama, it doesn’t have to! Establishing healthy boundaries early on can actually create a smoother and more stress-free holiday experience.
Here’s what our therapists—Jasmine, Sierra, and Carla—recommend:
Tip #1: Be Direct and Walk Away
In her Latinx family, Jasmine often encounters pushy behavior. Her go-to approach is to be direct and then remove herself from the situation if needed. If she feels uncomfortable or uninterested in a topic, she says something like:
“I don’t really want to engage in that topic.”
Then, she simply walks away. This method helps establish her comfort levels while avoiding further escalation.
Tip #2: Teach and Enforce Boundaries
Sierra focuses on teaching others how she wants to be treated and reinforcing her boundaries. She also chooses carefully whom she engages with based on their behavior. For example, if she wants to avoid questions about her personal life, she might say:
“I’d prefer not to talk about my dating life.”
This can also be a teachable moment to help loved ones understand how certain questions can be offensive. Sierra uses the same strategy for avoiding discussions about political views, which she prefers to skip altogether.
Tip #3: Deflect or Change the Subject
Carla recommends calmly stating your discomfort or redirecting the conversation. For instance, if asked an invasive question, she might say:
“I’ve been focusing on work and haven’t thought much about dating.”
When politics come up, Carla often changes the subject or excuses herself to grab a snack. Steering clear of divisive topics helps her maintain peace during the holidays.
Why Boundaries Matter During the Holidays
We know the holidays can bring stress and anxiety, but it’s important to remember that you are allowed to speak up for yourself and do what’s best for your well-being. You’re not obligated to answer invasive questions or engage in conversations that make you uncomfortable. Setting boundaries is key to ensuring a happier holiday for yourself and your loved ones.
Want more tips? All of our therapists—Jasmine, Sierra, and Carla—are accepting new clients both in-network and out-of-network in NY, NJ, MD, and DC. Book a free consultation today! Click here for more.
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